Sunday, November 23, 2003

The Blind Date

"Hello, I'm the prescription drug coverage you invited. May I come in?" 

"Sure, what are your plans?" 

"I'm going to cover you."

"What was your name again?"

"My short title is the Amendment to the Social Security Act. My full name is the short title plus, Medicare Prescription Drug,  Improvement and Modernization Act of 2003*. But you can call me Medicare Advantage."

"I thought you were coming alone. Who's that with you? What are they doing here?"

"That's BIPA. The Medicare, Medicaid and SCHIP Benefits Improvement and Protection Act. We want to make sure you get all the coverage you deserve."

"Are they included in the plans?"          

"BIPA asked the Drug Manufacturers and the Benefit Management companies to handle all the details. They'll get theirs from Social Security or they'll just borrow  and your children can pay later."

" I thought this was supposed to be an all expenses paid date with Prescription Drugs?"

 "Well I am Prescription Drugs, but the only way I can cover my expenses and those I have for my other wives, Medicaid and SCHIP, is to bring them along. I also have to include the Indians, the NIH and the VA. As long as we're counting, the Pharmaceutical Assistance Transition Commission and the Quality Improvement Organizations are hungry too. I hope you've made room for the Special Provisions Grantees.  I've ordered takeout for the suppliers, I mean the doctors and hospitals. It's all under control. I'm having your fire exit removed right now so Modifications to Medicare Payment Advisory Commission's new Digital Superhighway can be installed."

"I don't like this. I want to talk to the guy who set this date up!"

"Go ahead, call this 800 number. They will give you a number for your State so you can be directed to your County agency. They will have a volunteer call you back. While we're waiting, let's watch some new medical research I'm paying for on TV. "

"I can't watch TV. Didn't you know that I am blind?"  

"Really? Maybe I can get you a hearing aid. And get your wallet. I need money for tips." 

* The placement of commas is not an error.

  

 

 

 

 

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